You’ve heard me talk about becoming aware and getting more conscious, about listening to your internal GPS and sensing its guidance — well throughout all of this talk, it has sounded like we’re listening for a direction to take, or an action to do, or a knowing we’ll have. All of these can be seen as ‘nods’ of where to go or what to do — a ‘yes’ if you will, acknowledging your next path.
What I haven’t mentioned yet, is that sometimes our knowing comes in the form of a ‘no’, telling us what to stop doing, where to avoid going, what to not experience. And at first, it may be a bit more challenging to follow the ‘no’ guidance — simply because we’re expecting a push or a nudge in a direction.
But some of the most valuable knowings I’ve had have come in the form of what to stop doing or what to say ‘no’ to!
Here’s an example: After living in the southern Chesapeake Bay area of Virginia for almost ten years, I knew it was time to move away….but I didn’t know where to go! So at first my knowing was simply that my time in that area was ending soon.
I wasn’t given any direction of where I was to move or when. So I just sat with it….I took in the beauty of the area, made extra trips to the beach, and relished my friends and experiences — knowing that things would be changing.
And then one day, I knew where to move to — my inner voice spoke up and I was clear again.
But what’s important to realize is that sometimes being unclear is an important part of the process. Sometimes we need to be ‘in the not knowing’, before the actual direction becomes clear.
Because we live in a goal-directed society, at first this knowing about what not to do, or what to stop doing, can feel awkward or uncomfortable. However, if you can accept that sometimes ‘no’ is the knowing, then you can enjoy the period of not knowing….and continue to be fully present to your life experiences.
Richard Stine said it this way, “It is simple. We are where we should be, doing what we should be doing. Otherwise, we would be somewhere else, doing something else.” Or, I might add, not doing something!
Please share a time when you knew not to do something — how did you respond to that knowing of ‘no’?