“I’ve come to see that the deepest source of my misery is not wanting things to be the way they are. Not wanting myself to be the way I am. Not wanting the world to be the way it is. Not wanting others to be the way they are. Whenever I’m suffering, I find this ‘war with reality’ to be at the heart of the problem.” (Stephen Cope)
Are you at war with reality? Most of us are on some level or in some area of our lives. And this war is the source of all our suffering.
Notice I didn’t say the source of our pain — because pain is largely unavoidable — it’s just a part of the spectrum of life. But suffering is entirely avoidable — it is something unnecessary, that we create for ourselves (and that we can stop creating as soon as we accept life on its terms).
What does it look like to accept life? It means you stop fighting against ‘what is’; you welcome and accept whatever is happening; you stop rejecting the way life shows up; you are okay with whatever occurs; you let go of all expectations about how things should be. And as a result, you will know peace. You will know joy. You will know happiness.
This is a war that you can’t win — for life will be whatever life will be, regardless of our desires for it to be otherwise. Stop fighting and go with the flow. Jump into the river of life and allow the current to carry you easily. Stop flailing against ‘what is’.
It seems like such logical advice, that it’s a wonder we don’t quickly heed it. But when it comes to everyday application, we find it much more challenging. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Let go. Allow the flow of life to direct you and take you. Experience the ease and peace of living WITH life, instead of fighting AGAINST it.
Lay down your weapons and give up your war with reality. You’ll be amazed at the immediate changes you’ll experience, the instantaneous relief you’ll feel, the huge burden that lifts from your shoulders, and most importantly, the overwhelming feeling of being at peace.