Whatever situation you currently find yourself in, it’s important to recognize that you helped to create it. If you don’t like it, once you are aware that you want to change things, then it’s your choice as to what you’ll change and when. We cannot remain victims once we realize our contribution to our situation and our corresponding power to alter it.
Editor’s Note: I’m not referring to people who are victims of a crime or accident. I’m referring to our all-too-common desire to play the role of the victim even when we have the power to change our situation.
Here is a poem that is not typical of the spiritual style of poetry I usually write. This poem speaks from the angst, the pain, the drama of everyday life, from the humanness of emotions (even when they’re raw and painful), and shares a moment of awakening that is available to anyone who is finally ready to look at their own contribution to the situation they’re in.
When I Made My Bed
i gave all of me to you
then wanted some back
too late you said
you belong to me
heart and soul
you complete me
a little voice
somewhere inside
gasped
it’s my bed now
i’ll make it beautiful
comfy
as best i can
once you stop telling me
why i’m wrong
messed up
crazy
i can straighten the sheets
there
everything looks just right
so everyone says
what a perfect life i live
if only i didn’t feel
incompetent
depressed
angry
perhaps i’ll add
a few fancy pillows
tomorrow
lying awake each night
i watch your sleeping innocence
that’s the man
i fell for
why do you hide
during the day
only appearing
through soft snores
gentle breaths
in darkness
if i fluff your pillows
just right
will you love me
properly
lost in the covers
of the bed i’ve made
unsure how to leave behind
the 800 thread count
i first saw in you
one cold morning
i’ll awaken
ready to see
this old lumpy mattress
hurts me
i’ll wonder why
i’m still expecting you to return
the pieces of me
i gave away
when i made my bed
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